All I’ve Been Doing These Days

is thinking.

Thinking about everything and anything over and over again.

Thinking about how much I want a doughnut right now. Thinking about the cinnamon-sugar bagel with honey almond cream cheese I’ll get at Einstein’s before class tomorrow. Thinking about the stories I write every day. Thinking about this summer, thinking about next year. Thinking about what classes I need to register for. Thinking about how I’m going to get through these next few weeks. Thinking that I need to start my research paper. Thinking that I need to be more and do more. Thinking that I’m not good enough. Thinking that I’m going crazy. Thinking that I need more sleep. Thinking that my computer seems slower, thinking that the hours are flying by faster. Thinking about meals I want to cook. Thinking about how many times I’ve replayed this song – “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. Thinking how much I want to see The Hunger Games. Thinking I need to update my blog more often. Thinking how much I wish my hair was wavy. Thinking about how badly I need new clothes. Thinking about money (all the time). Thinking about the book series I’m in the middle of, thinking about which books I want to read but I don’t have time for. . .

See what I mean? I’m thinking everything all the time, and I know it’s become over-thinking, but I don’t know how to break the cycle. I need to quit thinking and start doing, and believe me, I have. I think maybe too much doing is causing the too much thinking, but how can I even know for sure? Summer is endlessly daunting and terrifying and nerve-wracking, so I can’t even think of that as the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing these days.

I’ve also been doing a ton of editing, a ton of writing and a ton of bookmarking recipes I want to make with Jeremy.

Like, I saw something called Oreo Butter today. So you’ve heard of cookie butter? It’s that, but made with Oreos. You basically blend up Oreos, heavy cream and canola oil, and it becomes spreadable. Sounds like something he would like, right? We’ll see.

I want a food processor.

My bad habit of chewing on the knots in my iPod headphones has finally broken one side of them, so that kind of sucks. But I guess I brought it upon myself.

Also, if you’re wondering what I’m thinking about the Trayvon Martin case… all I have to say is that I’m watching from a safe distance. From a journalism student’s perspective, it’s truly very interesting to see the media coverage and how the story has spread from Sanford to beyond! People are talking about Sanford – my Sanford, where my elementary school chorus went to sing for a holiday parade, where the mall is, where I grew up – nationally, which is super weird. I wonder if all of the people buzzing about Sanford remember that it used to be the celery capital of the world?

I’m clearly trying to waste time. But truth be told, it kind of feels good to write about myself. Don’t misunderstand me – I spend most of every day talking to fascinating people about the fascinating things they’re doing, and I love it. It just feels good to write what I want, you know?

I’ll stop rambling now. You should spend your time reading something of true value, like this hilarious story about drunk texting. It seriously had me giggling in the library. Enjoy!


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