Day 27: In which I develop a crush on Elvis.

You see, today we did Elvis in my Rock n Roll and American Society class, and I was like totally fine for most of the lecture. I was calmly disinterested, half asleep, and relying on eating chocolate to keep my head off the table… until my professor showed us this video of really cute like 19-year-old Elvis rolling his eyes. I can’t find the video to post here (really, I just spent 10 minutes trying to find it) but all of a sudden I went from normal girl to one of these crazy fangirls:

fans1.jpg (450×341)

Oops?

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Moving on. Also in my Rock n Roll class today I decided to make a conscious effort to write a legitimate blog post because I’ve been kind of remiss. Let me preface this post by saying that today was kind of a rough day, so you had better really appreciate this.

JULIA’S OFFICIAL GUIDE TO SCREENWATCHING (that’s what it’s called! Did you know? Please don’t look it up on urbandictionary):

Step one: Get to class early and choose a good seat.

If your lecture hall has rows of seats, it’s best to sit three in from the end because then you have basically four seats to yourself. Noone is going to sit on either side of you, plus your seat, and then noone is going to sit at the end of the row and get crammed.

Step two: If possible, choose the side of the room with the most boys on it.

Boys are less focused on their schoolwork than girls, and thus more likely to surf during class instead of just taking notes. Also, try to get a Stumbler or a Facebooker — video-game-forum-checkers are really no fun. Mac users are preferential.

Step three: Examine your surroundings.

If there is someone sitting in the seat directly behind you, move. If they catch you creepin’ and tell the laptop user, then you’re screwed. Thankfully, this is an easily avoidable fate. Best scenario: the person behind you has a laptop too, so they’re engrossed in their own business to get up all in yours.

Step four: Look inconspicuous.

Slouch in your seat, look bored*, and have your stuff spread out all around you. Bonus points if you’re drinking water; most laptop bros are Dr. Pepper drinkers and therefore addicted to caffeine and therefore think anyone without soda will be sleeping in class (true, actually).

*Only look bored until the professor comes in. At this point, look really intent on what he’s saying because otherwise the person will think you’re so bored that you’ll be looking at his screen (which is true).

Step five: Dodge the boot-up reflection.

When a person boots up their computer, the screen is black for like ten seconds while the load-up screen is coming up. THIS IS THE CRUCIAL SCREENWATCHER CATCH TIME. If the person just happens to look at the right part of the screen, you will be down for the count (and, thus, forced to pay attention to the lecture for the rest of the period).

Step six: Lurk, lurk, lurk.

If the guy stretches or for any reason has to look behind him, be sure to subtly redirect your eyes and change your posture. Otherwise, you’re home free! Have fun creeping on his social life, hobbies, and favorite memes.

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Day 27: Four classes, lots of lurking; INR is going to suck tomorrow.

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