Day 13: In which I begin to lurk… in class!

Today’s entry will be a series of letters and explanations.


Dear everyone at UF (namely, the guy who sat in front of me today in Rock n Roll),

Please increase the font size of your AIM messages so I can read them from behind you without squinting for two hours. I greatly appreciate it.


the girl behind you whose eyes are usually closed

But no really — today I discovered the best way to stay awake in class: sit behind someone with a laptop. Although I did this today by accident, I will now make a conscious effort to choose good seating (read: scope out the scene for laptop users) in all of my classes. Watching someone’s internet activity — although creepy and a little bit strange — distracts me just enough from the lecture to allow for brain activity while still paying attention.

Today I sat behind a guy who fought with his girlfriend over instant message for two hours (she was being unreasonable, for the record; he was totally rational), checked internet forums, got on Facebook, emailed, and tweeted — he only took notes four times. I had a few close calls because reading his messages (which were in micro font, I swear) required leaning forward a bit in my chair and squinting; whenever he suddenly leaned back to take a break from placating his lady, I had to avert my eyes and quickly adjust my body language so I looked normal.

Andbutso if everyone could just make their font size larger than 7, I’d be super grateful. And I could probably get away without having to change my glasses prescription.


Dear all of the bikers at UF,

Please stop parking like jerks. I know ‘you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do-I’m-in-college’ and all that, but seriously.


Getting Frustrated in Gainesville

Come on, cyclists! You can’t honestly tell me that you think that taking up space in which five bikes could fit with just yours because you want to lay it on its side is okay. And to all of you people who abandon your bike: dude, I’m not stupid. I can see that there are leaves on top of and weeds coming up onto your tires.

Now, don’t get the wrong impression: I’m a pretty understanding person. I can understand bad parking if you’re in a rush. I can understand accidentally chaining your bike to the wrong part of the metal thingy if you’re late to class or there is a bear eating your leg. I can understand leaving your bike overnight if it’s in a good spot (given that it’s not on its side and is only in one spot). Really, I understand.

But if you have to wedge your bike underneath mine in order to get it hooked up, maybe you shouldn’t be locking it there. Find a pole or something, buddy. I have scratches all over my legs from having to lift and maneuver my bike to get it out from the tangle of stupid parkers’.

And if — God forbid — I have to walk somewhere else in order to lock my bike up because yours is taking up an entire rack, you’d better hope that I’m not there when you come back, because I will run you over with my 6-speed.


Dear Society of Professional Journalists,

I’m pretty pumped about joining your club. I must say, though, that the one factor of your introductory meeting today that really cemented the deal was that you served Coke products.


the [apparently single] Coca-Cola addict on the campus

How to break a teenager’s hardcore Coke habit (ha!): enroll them in the college that developed Gatorade, which is owned by Pepsi, and tell them they have to ride off-campus in order to get some.

In all reality, I haven’t had soda in the 13 days since I’ve gotten here. Why? Two reasons: a) see above — no Coke and b) because I feel like it’s a tiny way for me to be healthier. I have had juice and lemonade, but no soda — not even at the SPJ meeting. I have the resolve of steel! (Not really, I’ve gotten pretty lucky.)


Dear Intro to International Relations professor,

For the love of my potential Journalism degree, please make your lectures more interesting.


the girl in the third row with red glasses who is currently avoiding doing her reading homework because she knows it’s going to be so dry and who will probably sleep through tomorrow’s 8:30am class

For real. Don’t call yourself a master lecturer (a title which I personally feel is a little pretentious, so calm down a bit) if you can’t even make wars sound interesting (spoiler: you can’t, dawg).


Day 13: Started off with me not waking up on time and ended with me staying up later than intended. Typical.


One Comment to “Day 13: In which I begin to lurk… in class!”

  1. this is awesome. although i cannot possibly understand how you can fall asleep in rock n roll.

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